Who are you to judge?

It is so hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes! I am weak when I see someone else doing something I "would never do". I think about all the things I would do if it were me. Like parenting. Before I had Kennedy, I use to make all these judgments on mothers when I would see them doing something that I thought was wrong. Now we all know that there are common sense things parents should and shouldn't be doing. But before I had Kennedy, I had no clue (although I thought I did)! There is no handbook for parenting. There is no cookie-cutter way to parent. What works for one parent doesn't always work for others. I now get offended when someone tells me to do something with my child as if they think they know her better than me! It is a little insulting! I then think, "Who are you to judge me!" "Who are you to tell me what to do with my family when you are not in my shoes."

I had to check myself and remember that I too judged people before I walked in their shoes. I use to make comments about my friend and her children. If they did something that I thought was inappropriate I opened my mouth. When I had Kennedy and noticed that she was not as perfect as I had hoped she would be, I had to feel my way through being her mom. I am still feeling my way but I know her better than anyone else and it irritates me when someone else who doesn't know her like I do makes comments that are out of line. Interesting! I got to walk in my friend's shoes. I finally knew what it was like to be on the receiving end and it did not feel good. I knew what it was like to be judged the way I judged!

Well, one day I began reading the book of Matthew and came across this scripture (which obviously can be applied to any situation): Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message) says: "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor." I tell you, sometimes the word can really smack you in the face!

I have learned that there are two types of judgment: Condemning Judgment and Discerning Judgment.
Condemning Judgment is self explanatory. It is when someone finds fault with everyone but themselves.
Discerning Judgment is a skill and a positive contribution based on good judgment and experience!
Some people don't see the distinction between discernment and condemnation. They think they are helping but ultimately they are hurting, especially when they have no true experience in the matter themselves!

Who was I to say something when I had not walked in my friend's shoes? Who am I to judge anyone? Based on God's word, I have no right! I am not the expert! I will leave judgment to God and continue to feel my way through life with God's help. My only advice is...BE CAREFUL! You think you know better than someone, but you don't! Your way is not always the best way for everyone! When you judge someone, you put yourself in the line of fire. Remember, you too will be judged so watch out!

Be blessed and know that I love you!!!